Many of you have addressed the concern that I'm one man, while the president is perpetually surrounded by a cadre of (pretentious) individuals. My response? I'm building my own cabinet.
Over the next couple of weeks, I'll be assembling my cabinet piece by piece. Not only will my cabinet be highly qualified, it will be the most deadly and kickass collection of executive officials the world has ever seen.
So, to kick it off, I'm nominating William Munny as my Secretary of Agriculture.
Unlike prep-school "Iowan" Tom Vilsack, Bill Munny knows exactly how hard it is to live off of the land. His is a tale of loss and adversity, but thanks to his never-say-die attitude, he was able to bring peace and justice to the township of Big Whiskey, Wyoming. After tragically losing his wife to smallpox in 1878, Mr. Munny eked out a living as a pig farmer, providing as best as he could for his two young children. And when that didn't work out, he got liquored up and killed everyone.
So what exactly does William Munny bring to my administration? Certainly he has guns, torturous memories, and a sweet duster. But his most valuable assets are experience, and a little thing I like to call "murder." America, welcome William Munny.
Looking forward: Friday's weigh-in.
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